Crabgrass In The Lawn Of Life

I Was Dreaming When I Wrote This

Apparently the cats decided since they missed 1999, that 2009 would do just as well.

Labrynthian Theory

I can't remember exactly what brought the movie Labyrinth to my attention recently. Was it talking with Biz-P? Or did our discussion come around because I was thinking about the movie for some reason? I'm just not sure. Either way, a conversation a couple weeks ago lead to the shocking realization that Biz-P did not adore Labyrinth as much as I did. In fact, he - get this - hated it!

It took me some time to remove my jaw from the floor. I'm not sure I was able to speak with BizP for the rest of the day. The next day I tried singing him some of the songs from the movie, but he was undeterred in his hatred. I was completely flabbergasted - how could this be? I told my husband, DigitalA, about it. "Can you believe he doesn't like it?" I said incredulously. "Yeah, I don't like it either." This was even more unsettling to me. "But... But... the only copy of it I have was actually yours from before we met!" I protested. "Well, it must have come from my mom or something, because I never really cared for it." My jaw remained on the floor of the car for days.

Having finally come to grips with the idea that my own husband didn't love Labyrinth, I moved on to determining how this situation could possibly have come to pass. How did they not love Labyrinth? David Bowie and Jim Henson Muppets - I find it magical and wonderful, Biz-P finds it disturbing and creepy, DigitalA just doesn't think about it at all. BizP and I eventually determined the deciding factor must be the age at which we first watched the movie. I don't remember exactly how old I was when I first saw it, but it was released in 1986 and I owned a recorded version from HBO on VHS by 1989. This puts both me and DigitalA in our late teens on first viewing. Biz-P did not see the movie until recently, putting him in his early 30's at first viewing. This must have had something to do with it.

Having formed our theory, I put it to a rigorous scientific test - I posted the question on an online forum I frequent and tallied the answers. I also rented Labyrinth from our local library and played it for my children. My results confirmed and refined our theory. I asked my forum friends and my children to rate the movie on a grade scale of A to F. A is AWESOME I loved it. B is It was good, I liked it. C is meh, don't really care one way or the other. D is I didn't really like it. F is I hated it, do not mention that drivel to me.

For males, the dividing age seems to be 13. I only had a few male respondants, but the only two that gave the movie an A or B rating saw the movie by age 12. Those that saw it from 13 up gave it a C or below.

For females, the dividing age seems to be 18. One respondant saw the movie over that age and gave it a C. The remaining respondants, with only 1 exception, who saw the movie by age 18 gave it at least B, with most of them giving it an A, or even an A+++++++++.

My children confirmed the results as well. Stringz (13) gave it a C, he really didn't care about it. Squeegy (12) gave it a B, enjoying it and wanting to see it again if we owned it. Giggles (8) gave it an A+++. Princess (4) seemed to enjoy it, but was too young for a proper grading.


So, the moral of this story? If you have children, or when you have children, be sure to play your favorite childhood movies for them by age 12 in order to assure that your love is passed on. Waiting too long could leave you at odds with your loved ones over the merits of your all-time favorite campy kids movies.

Like a Cannonball (Run II)

I was in high school when my dad and step-mother got together. My step-sister, Guppy, is almost 4 years older than I am, and so was already out on her own. One of the first times I met her was the night she took me and two of my friends down to Lowell, MA, for a concert. A Menudo concert. Yes, I was in high school in the 80's, why do you ask? Guppy wasn't exactly a fan, but going to a concert together seemed like a nice "sisterly bonding experience", so I got her a ticket and she offered to drive.

We got directions to the concert venue, and we had a map of the city. Have you ever driven in New England? It's ... interesting. For all of you lucky people that grew up in the middle or western parts of the country, I'll just say one thing. All New England roads, whether in the city or out in the boondocks, were laid out not by engineering crews, but by wandering cows. Needless to say, we're trying to figure out if that little bitty alley counts as the first left or not, decide not, miscount and miss our turn. I look at the map and say "Hey Guppy, there's a traffic circle just ahead, we'll turn around there." Except you can't turn around there. Because for some reason the so-called traffic circle on the map did not actually make a complete circle in the road and we ended up going off in the wrong direction.

Yep, if you ever meet me, or Guppy, or my friends Knuckles and Stampy, just ask us about "Getting Lost in Lowell" and we'll laugh. What an experience. We drove around a bit, trying to retrace our steps in a large MA city where half the roads are one way the wrong way and the other half wind in circles or dead end. Finally, we pass a fire station. Guppy pulls in to get directions - after all, who would know the town roads better than a policeman or a fire crew? Guppy was a volunteer firefighter and EMT in NH. After she got our directions, she tells the crew - "Thank you, now I'm going to stare at your trucks for a while." And she did. One of my earliest memories of my sister, Guppy, is stopping to look at fire trucks while lost in Lowell. :)

Well, the directions worked great of course, and we get to the concert. Now, as I mentioned, Guppy was older than I, and out of high school. I myself was already on the upper edge of Menudo's fan-base's age range. Picture Menudo as the Hannah Montana of the 80's, and a concert venue full of screaming pre-teens, a few teens, several bored parents and one embarrassed 20 yo. Poor Guppy, she was so out of her element. I remember Knuckles, Stampy and I standing up, singing along and dancing, a couple times, and Guppy just sitting there, listening, and probably thinking "Holy cow, I'm older than everyone on stage by at least 5 years!!"

Thankfully, the drive home was not nearly as eventful. I'm sure if you asked her, Guppy would tell you that the highlight of her evening was getting lost and taking the time to look at fire trucks!

Hail To The Meek

A thunderstrom ripped through Oklahoma on Friday. I'd been at work about an hour, when BizP walked around the office, umbrella in hand. "Golf ball sized hail expected any minute. Y'all might want to move your cars." See, unlike The Golfer and his management buddies who park in an uncovered but semi-sheltered lot right next to the building, the rest of us peons park in an uncovered, wide open lot about a 1/2 mile away. BizP and OoRah decide to bite the bullet, pay the $5 for the day and move to a covered garage. They get to the end of the block, and it's raining pretty hard. OoRah decides, "Forget this, it's not worth it." and turns around. BizP lowers his umbrella to his waist, hoping to sheild at least some of the now-horizontal rain, and soldiers on. (Hee Hee - ironic word choice!)

Sometime later, I'm standing at OoRah's desk, discussing the merits of whether I should have moved my car, when BizP returns. A drenched, dripping BizP holding his useless umbrella at his side. He issues us a well-appreciated warning. "I'm going to be in the breakroom wringing out my shirt. You do not want to come in there for a while."

Three cups of tea later, BizP is still shivering. I offer him my jacket, which fits him much better than in OoRah's. "Hey," I tell him, "at least I have a nice plain blue jacket and not something girly." Through chattering teeth he stutters "Do you really think that matters to me right now?"

I walked over to BizP's desk to check out his gift from V which, due to his forgetting to bring it back to work Thursday and my being out for the reveal on Wednesday, I had not seen in person yet. (More on this later, V did an AWESOME job.) At this point I see a sight on BizP's desk which demands that I hightail it, mid-sentence, back to my desk to grab my camera.


Yes, those are BizP's shoes and socks- drying on his desk. The pulled out insert makes the photo, doesn't it?


Now, with the shoes on the desk, our intrepid explorer is running around barefoot. I couldn't resist a photo of that.

As I'm standing there, taking photos of his gift from V, BizP makes an observation that completely floors me. "Hey look, the pillow is absorbing the moisture from my hinder."


Dude. I can't top that.

I might come close, perhaps, by mentioning that there were no hail strikes within 10 miles of our office or vehicles on Friday.

Not. one.

BizP has decided that he doesn't care if there is a Vibe-hating monster loose in the city, or if all the concrete in all the covered garages suddenly disintegrates and the buildings collapse - he is never, ever, moving his car again.

If he starts home now, he might make it by Thursday.

Look Who's (Not) Talking

The following conversation took place the 3,238th time I took Princess potty while out and about one weekend.

Princess: "Mommy, how come you go potty every time I go potty?"

Mommy: "Because I have to go too. My tummy tells me when I have to go potty. Just like your tummy tells you."

Princess: "Mommy!" (said in a 'don't be ridiculous' tone.) "My tummy doesn't talk!!"

Mamma Mia

Excerpt from an IM conversation last month:

DA: So, do we have the Ren Faire this weekend, or can we put it off until later?

LPF: We've got Giggles' Girl Scout trip on the 16th, but so far open the rest of the weekends, we can do Ren Faire whenever. Why?

DA: Oh, nothing.

(time passes)

DA: You have plans on Saturday night.

LPF: Oh, ok. Given that Sunday is Mother's Day, I'm guessing I should keep my big nose out of it and leave it at that?

DA: Probably.

LPF: Gotcha.


Have you ever tried to plan an evening out, set up your oldest kid to babysit the younger kids, while having no idea where you are going? "Mommy, where are you going?" "I don't know. Out." "But where?" "I don't know. Out." "Daddy, where are you going?" "Out." "But where?" "Out." "But where?" "Kids listen! It's Mother's Day tomorrow - I Don't Know, and I Don't Want To Know until I get there!!!!"

DA told me to dress semi-nice. Slacks fine, but jeans probably ok too. I erred on the side of dressy and wore slacks with a plain dark turtleneck sweater. I did my hair and even wore make-up. (pause here to let you all recover from the shock.) I didn't poke around too much as I enjoy a good surprise, but I did skim the paper and didn't see anyone I recognized playing in the area that weekend. The only thing I could think of was a comedy club. Given that most clubs have a 2 drink minimum and DA can not drink at all, I grimly anticipated having to get sloshed.

Thankfully for us all, that was not the case. :)

We went out to eat (Tostado Nachos at TGIFridays - yum!), then headed to downtown Tulsa. All the way into downtown, parking the car, and even all the way into the Tulsa Performing Arts Center, I had no idea what we were doing. I saw many signs at the PAC for the upcoming Wicked tour. But that's not until July, I thought to myself, so we can't be seeing that. (Note to DA - I wouldn't mind seeing that if we can swing it.) We were in the theater, walking down the aisle to our seats before the big sign on the back of the stage finally told me what I was in for. "The Ten Tenors".

Once I got past the fact that the name of their tour is not a real word - Nostalgica? - I had a wonderful time. They do a mix of Opera, Broadway and Rock music, and the show was fantastic. I truly enjoyed every moment. It was probably about a 2 hour show, with a 20 minute intermission between. My opinion? I could have stayed another 2 or 3 hours if they would have continued singing for us.

Two interesting notes from the show:

1. How fun is it that out of all million or so songs to come out in the 1980's, they chose our song ¹ as one of the 5 - 7 for their 80's medley? (Yeah, I just saw the show and I already forgot how many. So sue me.)

2. Okay, who in their right minds throws an ABBA song into the middle of a Queen song? ² Sure, the lyrics fit perfectly and it was only 2 lines, but it was definitely the most unexpected moment of the entire night.

If you have a chance, go see the Ten Tenors. If you are a music fan and are even a little bit open to opera, you will thoroughly enjoy yourself. I'm sure the DVDs will not be quite as good as the real thing, but I do intend to add all their DVDs and CDs to my christmas wish list.

¹ Eternal Flame by the Bangles
² "Mamma Mia, here I go again" from Mamma Mia inserted into Bohemian Rhapsody. No, seriously. I'm not kidding. They really did.

Blinding Us With Science

A recent IM conversation with my husband. We changed our home phone to Voice-Over-IP a while ago and he was looking at our account online. Apparently you can access your voicemail as well as see all incoming and outgoing calls to that number.

DH: hmm who is 918-555-1234
LPF: sounds familiar
DH: they have been calling quite a bit
LPF: doctor maybe?
DH: no don't think so
(at this point I am Googling the number to see who it is)
DH: called as recently as 2:08pm yesterday plus a bunch around 1:42
DH: on june 5th
DH: oh crap
DH: its me
LPF: ah
LPF: I knew it sounded familiar!
DH: :)


Turns out it was his work number. Remember way back before speed dial when you used to actually recognize not only your own phone number, but friends and family too?

Dude Looks Like A Lady

With long, straight, limpish hair and a tendency to abuse the snooze button in the morning, my daily hairstyle for the last several years has consisted of a single ponytail positioned high in the back of my head. This keeps it out of my eyes, and with that much length I can still pull hair in front of my shoulders if I want shaping around my face. But for whatever reason, I made a styling effort the other morning and wore my hair down to work for the first time in several months, possibly years. Certainly the first time at this office. I looked good and I felt girly.

The security guard in our building is required to see our badges every time we walk in, even though he sees me every morning and probably recognizes me by now. Today, of all days, he suffered a slip of the tongue.

"Good Morning sir. I mean ma'am. Good Morning Ma'am."

** facepalm **

Adding insult to injury - I told BizP about Security Guard's slip, and he dang near fell off his chair. I would have smacked him for finding it so funny, but the poor guy already couldn't breathe.


As if this was not bad enough. Later that day I went into the restroom to comb my hair. In front of the mirror, under apparently much BRIGHTER lights than I have at home, I found - 7 long gray hairs. Are you kidding me? Where have those been hiding? And why did they come out to play today of all days?


The one saving grace that day - Princess.

I got in the car after work, and told DigitalA about my day. He, of course, laughed. A good 10 minutes later, after having apparently spent much time investigating and pondering, Princess pipes up from her car seat behind me. "Mommy, your hair isn't gray. It's just tangles."


Awwww ... I love my little girl!

Top 10 Signs Your Blog Is Neglected:

10. You agonize for days to come up with a complete top 10 list, nearly quitting with only 8 items.


9. Your blog password is still l33t-speak for a tv show that went off the air in 2006.


8. One word - Tumbleweeds.


7. All the stories in your "to blog" notebook happened over 9 months ago.


6. Tap tap tap. Is this thing on?


5. Your weekly pageviews drops by more than 100%, driving users from every blog you've ever linked.


4. Your children have aged 4 years since your last "recent pictures" post.


3. Embarrassing stories about you appear in another person's blog more often than your own.


2. You want to track down the owners of the 2 resilient IP addresses that still check your blog everyday so that you can call them up and apologize in person. (L and Em - I'm sorry.)



And the number one sign that your blog is neglected:


1. Your username is LadyPatsFan. ;P




Hopefully this post is a sign of better (or at least more frequent) blogs to come. Stay tuned - same bat channel, some bat time to be determined at a later date.

Oops, I Did It Again

As if I don't have enough on my plate, I have decided to attempt Project 365 this year. I've been doing it since January, and so far, so good.

Project 365 has been around the photography world for several years, but has really taken the scrapping world by storm this year. The object is - take a picture a day for a year. Now, I'm a mom and a scrapper, you'd think I already did that. But believe it or not, there are days when I don't pick up the camera. But most of the time, I've been able to manage a picture a day, and an extra here and there to make up for any "missing" days.

I obviously won't be posting a picture to my blog everyday. I'm just not that organized. But periodically, as I finish them, I'll post my weekly layouts so you can see what types of photos we've been taking. Some photos will represent what we did that day. Some photos will represent something we do or use everyday. And some will just be cute things the kids do. I'm very interested in seeing how this looks when the year is finished.

Here we go!

JANUARY

I've decided to scrap my pictures in weekly layouts, with an additional monthly "cover sheet" so to speak. For January's monthly summary, I used close-ups of just part of the photo - kind of a teaser for what's to come. I used the larger photo blocks to spotlight some of the highlights of the month.

WEEK ONE

I'm following a Sunday to Saturday week, and 2009 started on a Thursday, so there are just 3 pictures for week one. This week's layout is a single pager, and will appear opposite the January summary page if I ever get this project printed or bound.

WEEK TWO

Starting with Week 2, my weekly layouts will be 2 pages. This week was a lot of everyday life shots - Squeegy hiding from the camera or playing with the dogs, an IM conversation between DH and Stringz, Giggles' Girl Scout patches, and Princess being cute.

WEEK THREE

Tuesday's photo is just Stringz standing by my desk, but the journaling is him explaining to me how they extracted the DNA from a strawberry in science lab that day. Giggles had a field trip to the aquarium with her Girl Scout troop, Saturday started Girl Scout Cookie season.

WEEK FOUR

Most of week 4's photos are everyday life - dinner, the fish, the cats - but it ended with my trip back to NH for my dad's 60th birthday. I was only able to back for the day, flying in Friday and home Sunday, but it was SO NICE to see family again. I can't wait until we can bring the kids back east again.

WEEK FIVE

This week we had an ice storm, our first dusting of snow, and Stringz became a teenager.


Credits: All the January pages were created with the Giggle kit by Digitreats.
The templates are:
January: January Template by Digitreats
Week 1: Project 365 Template 01 by MOriginals
Week 2: Project 365 Template 01 by Digitreats
Week 3: Project 365 Template 03 by MOriginals
Week 4: Project 365 Template 01 by Brenda Smith
Week 5: Project 365 Template 02 by Just 2 More Things

You Must Remember This

Mnemonics. Little tricks and rhymes to help you remember things. We all use them.

Some mnemonics are pretty universal, and most people have at least heard of them. "Thirty days hath September..." for the days of the months, "ROY G. BIV" for the colors of the rainbow. Leap years are evenly divisible by 4 but not 400.

Sometimes our references come from Pop Culture. Children's programs like Sesame Street have long used music to teach numbers and letters. Thanks to Schoolhouse Rock, there are thousands of thirty-somethings who can tell you about the Louisiana Purchase or sing the Preamble to the Constitution. I've heard songs that list all the 50 states in alphabetical order, the Presidents of the The United States in order, or all the Kings and Queens of England.

Some are more personal, something a teacher or a parent taught you that's a little different than how other people remember it. I can still hear my 10th grade french teacher whenever I spell professor - "It only takes one F to fail you." I've heard other variations, but in our house the planets were aligned in the order of "Mary's Violet Eyes Make Johnny Stay Up Nights Period."

And then, there are the inadvertent mnemonics. The family stories that you think of whenever a topic comes up that helps you remember a certain fact. Maybe you got only one question wrong on a test, and you always remember what cost you that perfect score. Maybe the correct answer was said or written in such a way that it became instantly memorable.

One summer holiday, we were sitting around the pool at my uncle's house, and the adults were playing Trivial Pursuit. (Quick, which decade was this?) My dad and his brothers and sisters liked to play in teams, and bounce answers off each other before giving the official answers. This also allowed the teams to ebb and flow as people arrived or departed, without disrupting the game. A precocious kid, I preferred to hang out with the adults, so I was the official card reader for both sides. (Oh, and by the way Regis? I came up with "Is that your final answer?" WAY before you did. You can make my royalty checks payable to LadyPatsFan...) The following question came up for my dad's team:

Who was the second person to walk on the moon?

Discussion ensued. "Well, of course, Neil Armstrong was the first." "Yes. And that was Apollo 11." "Did Apollo 12 touch down on the moon, or just orbit?" "I know Apollo 13 was supposed to and didn't make it, but was 12 scheduled to land?" "Who was in line for the Apollo 12 mission?" "Okay, now who would have been commander?" "Would the Commander have stepped out or stayed behind?"

I don't remember all the names and dates and assorted trivia that was tossed around during the discussion, but I remember it taking several minutes. And I don't remember the name of the astronaut that my Dad finally named as the second man to walk on the moon. But I will never, ever, forget the correct answer to this US History question.

me - "The correct answer is .... Edwin 'Buzz' Aldrin"

.... long pause while everyone stared open mouthed at me ....

Dad - "Of course!" V8 head slap. "The guy behind Armstrong on the ladder!!!"

Ready To Run

There was an armed bank robbery in our city recently. Living in a major metropolitan area for the last 8 years, this is probably not an unusual situation. This particular robbery happened 1 1/2 blocks south of my office at right about lunch hour. Given that the "perp" fled north after the robbery, this put him at my intersection about 5-ish minutes after I walked through on my way to the library.

Did I see anything? No.

Did I hear anything? No.

Did I know anything about it? Not until I got back to the office and read about it on the local newspaper website.

So why am I so concerned? Why has reading about a robbery so close to me, at a time when I was out walking by, made me so nervous? Was it because I found out about it so soon after the non-encounter? Was it seeing the security camera picture of the really creepy looking disguise he wore? Or is it from growing up in CowPoke NH, and not yet being fully "city-fied"?

Whatever the reason, I'm thinking it will be safer to walk with OoRah or BizP in the future.

Wait a minute, you say. OoRah I understand, him being an ex-Marine and still large and intimidating. But doesn't BizP weigh something like 50 pounds soaking wet if he carries a 20 pound barbell? He doesn't exactly exude intimidation.

True. But like the hunter said while lacing up his tennies - "Dude, I don't have to outrun the bear. I just have to outrun you."

I Sense A Disturbance In The Force

Last weekend I flew home to NH for 2 days to surprise my Dear Old Dad on his 60th birthday. We didn't tell him he was having a party. We didn't even tell him that he was coming over to little sister's house for dinner Saturday Afternoon until Friday, so he wouldn't stew over it and start figuring things out. We thought we were doing really well at keeping the secret. Until Saturday morning.

DOD looks at my step-mom, NR, that morning and out of the blue says "You know, the only surprise the girls could pull off would be if LPF was there." NR managed to answer to the effect that none of us could have afforded that, how would I get away, blah blah blah. Outwardly calm, inside she's screaming "YOU TWIT! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FIGURED IT OUT!!" Hoping she diffused the situation, we continued with our plans.

Big Sis drove them over to the house, and when they arrived I handed my camera off to my cousin and hid around the corner where DOD couldn't see me. He comes in the house, and as he enters the living room he sees all the family gathered around. Then I came around the corner. His response? An emphatic "I KNEW IT!"



How did he know? He says he "just had a feeling."

What's Happening in Your Neck Of The Woods?

Happy 2009 to one and all! It's been a few years since I managed a holiday newsletter, so how about an update on how all the LadyPatsFans are doing?

DH has completely healed from his liver cancer surgery in December 2007, and is now 1 year cancer free. He sees his oncologist and surgeon here every 3 months, and a transplant doctor in OKC once a year for follow-up. Thus far, all is well. His company had 3 rounds of layoffs in 2008 as a result of the economic downturn, but so far DH's position has been spared. He still seems to enjoy his job, however, so hopefully the company will continue to survive into the new year, and start to thrive when the economy recovers.

I was not quite so fortunate, and was laid off twice in 2008. In September I landed a good position doing web and software development. The people here are very nice, the work is varied and interesting, and I'm really enjoying it. The commute downtown can be a bit hard on us with only one vehicle. However, the library is only 3 blocks away, so I have a good excuse to go out and walk at lunch a few times a week. Over the summer I started the Couch-To-5K running program with the kids. We did not finish, due to various factors derailing my motivation, but I hope to pick it back up myself in the next few weeks. If not soon, then definitely in Spring when it warms up. :)

Stringz is doing extremely well. As a 7th-grader, he is now in Middle School, and has different rooms and different teachers for each class, like a high school. He is taking Algebra for math as well as an honors Science class, and really loves the challenge. Stringz is in his second year playing Viola, and doing very well. He was so excited this fall when he auditioned and made the cut for Honors Orchestra. This is a special event that provided an opportunity for Stringz to rehearse and perform with a different conductor as well as musicians from his and 4 other school districts. He practiced the music on his own for a month prior to the event, then rehearsed with the group all day on Saturday, and performed in a concert that night. Stringz continues to enjoy playing chess, and tries to attend a weekly chess club meeting as often as Mommy and Daddy can get him there. He is currently First Class rank in Boy Scouts, and expects to finish his Star rank early this year. He still loves going on the campouts and attending Troop meetings. I can not believe he will turn 13 at the end of the month, making me the parent of a teenager!

Squeegy is enjoying school much more this year. He is in 6th grade, and is learning the trombone in band class. He is currently using the same trombone that I learned on, which originally belonged to Squeegy's Great Uncle A - aka GUA. While trombone was not originally his first choice, he is learning very quickly, and frequently earns Second or Third Chair after each week's test. He enjoyed his first band concert in December. Squeegy was offered the opportunity to take Chinese as a foreign language this year, and he absolutely jumped at the chance. He seemed to enjoy it and learned it well, and I hope that he will want to take it again in 7th grade. Squeegy has achieved the rank of Tenderfoot in Boy Scouts. He did not play a sport this year, a situation that he has advised me that he would like to correct next year.

Giggles is in 2nd grade this year. She is absolutely reading up a storm. She only wants to read chapter books, and frequently raids Stringz's bookshelf, as well as mine! Her teacher this year seems to be doing a better job of challenging her, and Giggles complains less about being bored than she has in previous years. Giggles is a second year Brownie this year, and was so excited to finally go on her first campout. The temperature outside dropped to 30 degrees or less, but luckily for us our troop was assigned the lodge, which meant heated sleeping areas. Giggles continues to enjoy scrapbooking and crafts, although she much prefers paper scrapbooking over the digital scrapbooking that I do. She has expressed interest in joining gymnastics for some time now, so DH and I are researching programs and hope to finally get her started in February.

Princess is nearly 4 years old - where does the time go?!?! DH and I are looking to get her into a Montessori preschool early this year. She is showing so much potential right now, and her current day care just isn't up to the task. Her speech is getting much clearer and easier to understand. We still have occasional communication issues, but mostly when her mind works more quickly and maturely than we realize. A few months ago, Princess learned that her name starts with S, and now anything with an S on it belongs to her - much to Squeegy's chagrin. Her favorite pasttime lately is coloring, and she has started drawing her own stick people - with arms and legs growing directly out of their head, of course. Princess also started writing her name without help recently, and it is completely recognizable too! She is stubborn and mule-headed (wonder where she got that from, huh?) but very sweet and loving, and even cuddly sometimes. She still plays a bit rough with the cats, forcing them to sit with her when they want to leave, but she is learning restraint and is much improved in this area.

Speaking of our furry family members, the pets have managed to stay mostly healthy this year. In February, we adopted what was posted as a Bernese Mountain Dog mix puppy, but is more likely a Miniature Australian Shepherd (Mini Aussie) mix puppy. So, instead of the laid back, 100lb fluff ball I was expecting, Wolfgang has turned out to be a cute, if spazzy, 35lb bundle of energy. Wolfie basically ignores the cats, which is a very good thing, and he turned 1 in December. Our German Shepherd, Daisy, is 3 years old now, and has started attacking the cats. We've got the situation temporarily managed with baby gates, but much training is in her future. The cats, Jesse, Wyatt, and Calamity, are 1 1/2 years old, and thanks to the falling temperatures they are even more cuddly than usual. Jesse tends to sleep on our bed. Calamity has adopted Giggles's bed as her own, much to Giggles's delight. Wyatt likes to cuddle with me on the couch, especially when I'm using my Patriots blanket (thanks Sis!).

That's what's happening in our neck of the woods. I hope that this holiday season finds you all well. Wishing each and every one of you and all your family health and happiness for 2009 and beyond.

The LadyPatsFans
DH, LPF, Stringz, Squeegy, Giggles, Princess
Daisy, Wolfgang, Jesse James, Wyatt Earp, Calamity Jane

We Wish You A Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas from LadyPatsFan, DH, Stringz, Bob, Giggles, Princess, Daisy, Wolfgang, and The Outlaws - Wyatt, Jesse and Calamity.

EXTERMIKNIT! EXTERMIKNIT! EXTERMIKNIT!

Geeks and Knitters unite!

SELECT * FROM users WHERE clue > 0

Big Dawg has had this posted on his cubicle wall for months, possibly years. I thought it was some gaming reference (like, World Of Warcraft or something - "if not dead, increase strength").

Until we were talking about it Friday following the Punishment Lines Code Napkin Episode. And he muttered the phrase "What doesn't kill us....."

OOHHH!!!! I get it now. Yeah Big Dawg, it IS even funnier when you know what it means. :)

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Our IS department has a monthly lunch out together to celebrate that month's birthdays. Our end of the table had a couple of parents at it. After fielding my 32nd call of the morning from my 3 (home-from-school-on-xmas-break-can't-get-we-all-just-get-along) oldest children requesting mediation services, the conversation turned to punishment and redirection techniques. The non-parents among us (well, just Biz-P really) started taking notes. "Pit them against each other, not you." "Let them choose each others punishment." "Do not be afraid of the phrase 'death match'."

OoRah told us he had recently started making his girls write out the US Constitution. He'd give them an Article or Section and they'd have to copy it out. I piped up that we used a similar technique, but that our little offenders had to write what they did. "I will not kick my sister" 100 times each or "I will not start fires" 500 times each.

The conversation continued until a few moments later, when OoRah handed me this napkin:



Then all conversation stopped, as we were all laughing too hard. Only at an IS lunch could a joke like this go over so completely and so well.

However, I'm not sure which is sadder funnier:

A. That he actually wrote it down.

B. That I immediately declared that I had to blog about it.

C. That he realized he forgot to increment i and asked for the napkin back to fix the bug in his code.

D. That I let him fix it because leaving an endless loop would have bothered me intensely.

Even Reindeer Pause

I heard the funniest story at a Christmas party recently. What you have to understand first, is that this takes place deep in the heart of the Bible Belt region. The buckle of the bible belt, so to speak. A place where the populace is strongly religious, and for the majority of the parishioners, that religion is some form of Christianity. A place with all the stereotypes - the good, the not-so-good, the neutral - that go along with life in a very red state. A place were public displays such as one might see at Mardi Gras in New Orleans, or the Castro District of San Francisco, or the Pride parade of Chicago, are completely unheard of and generally looked down upon. An area where churches outnumber grocery stores.

So picture if you will, a Christmas parade. Hundreds of men, women and children turn out for the festivities. Here comes the nativity from Catholic Church, very nice. Aw, there go the Girl Scouts - too cute. Now the float from Baptist Church. And the marchers from the Assembly of God. Another float from the Presbyterian Church. And now, here comes the float from [large department store chain]. Oh look, they've got a Santa! Hmm... who is that standing next to him? Kinda tall for an elf. A kid? No, still too tall. .... oh no, they didn't! (facepalm)

Santa's "Helper". Santa's young, nubile, attractive, adult female helper. Wearing an outfit even Victoria would keep secret. Santa is wearing a big grin, his hand placed firmly and unmovingly on her rear.

In the crowd, dozens of men start volunteering to play Santa next year. The women, shivering in sympathy, start covering children's eyes.

A 6 year old girl looks up at her Grampa and says "That is highly inappropriate."